One on One
by Elly Van Houten
Summary: The Alliance is closing in on a victory. Apple and Shu reevaluate their ambiguous friendship as different events serve to sharpen those lines. Suikoden 2, some suggestive themes. [Finished]
1. Shadow

_Muse._

It wasn't like her to be rude. She always spoke her mind, particularly when justified, but she was also one to show consideration for others. Courteous and kind, she never overstepped her boundaries, and she always respected everyone else's space.

This time, however, was different.

This time, she couldn't put it aside. She had to ask him, whether or not he was willing to give her an answer. It had to do with her failed attack on Muse, something that happened well over a month ago. It had bothered her for that long, nagging at her until she felt she would burst.

He knew who it was the moment she barged through his door. He even didn't turn around when she spoke his name.

"What is it, Apple?"

It was true that he was only responding to being addressed, but sounding so cool and casual while she was inwardly conflicted seemed unfair somehow. Still, she unloaded the question that had been weighing on her mind.

As always, he gave her the answer she didn't want to hear, but it was a simple delivery of truth. She was a failure.

No, that wasn't right. He didn't put it in those words at all. A man who never lost sight of his objectivity, he criticized the action and not the person. She just took it the wrong way, because it was closer to the truth than the possibility that she could be anything other than a failure.

Perhaps he took pity on her. Yes, that had to be why he asked her to pick that card on the table. It was a casual argument against her uselessness, but perhaps he wasn't as impartial as he had made himself out to be. Or perhaps he had grown weary debating with himself and needed someone's quick guess.

But that wasn't like him either.

What could fire mean, anyway? Apple could only wonder as she was dismissed. Beyond the cryptic order, she could sense a set of conflicted feelings. And that was no easy task when dealing with a man who hardly ever showed his emotions. But the little clues she had not considered to pick up along the way were starting to catch up to her. Still fresh in the mind, they would bring her to a halt...not to mention out of her own self-pity.

_Twelve days ago._

That was when it began.

From the moment the Orange Army recaptured Rockaxe to the brief meeting the leaders had just after Lord Riou collapsed.

The man she knew was always formal, but during these last twelve days, he had grown less responsive and, on a level, more secretive. He did not share his thoughts with anyone else, and that was to be expected. And normally, any conflict of his would be resolved within a day or two. But whatever this was...it was not normal.

_Shu..._

Whenever she spoke of him or even thought of him, her heart filled with warmth. At least, that was true in the past. Now, the name itself caused her to quiver inside, but not for joyous reasons. There was certain dread accompanying it, and she was only beginning to understand why.

The final battle loomed ahead. The next day, the soldiers were to depart toward Highland territory. However, the details of the attack had been kept a closely guarded secret by Shu, who always changed the subject whenever it was brought up. In fact, he went great lengths to draw attention elsewhere. There was always another detail to be perfected, another flaw to be fixed. It was clear that the soldiers were more than prepared, but lately he had gotten on them for one reason or another. He wasn't acting like himself.

_I'm...worried about you_, the woman thought, lowering her gaze to the floor as she exited. _You always tell me something...even when you're having difficulty with the subject at hand._

_Oh, Shu...please don't shut me out._


	2. Falling Into Place

She was grateful they didn't take separate carriage rides. There had been something gnawing at her since the previous night, telling her that something was wrong. For this reason, she wanted to remain within a close distance of him. She couldn't still the feeling that, if they were apart even for a minute, she would never see him again.

At one point, her hand swept across his and rested upon it for a moment. She turned to him, giving him a bittersweet look as he met her gaze. It didn't last for long, and his eyes gradually lowered, eventually resulting in him turning away.

Apple brought her hand back and occasionally glanced at Shu, while he only remained silent. It was like this for the rest of the ride.

---

Apple walked with Shu as the army marched toward the Highland border. As if to assure the young woman that her worst fear would not be realized, a sort of chant ran through her mind.

_Almost there...almost there..._

When the battle began, she would make sure to remain close to his group. Her plan, however, was thwarted when she found herself faced with an unexpected command.

"Go with them..."

She wanted to protest, but the words never found their way out of her mouth. Instead, she complied unconditionally, as she usually did with the man's orders. There was reluctance in her steps, however.

_Turn back_, she silently told herself. _If you leave, you'll never see him again..._

_No...I don't want that..._

She tried to turn around for one last glance, but the troops marching behind her inadvertently forced her to continue forward.

"Don't worry, Miss Apple!" one of the soldiers said. "We're all here, and we're ready!"

Another soldier came up beside him, throwing an arm around his comrade. "That's right! Come on! Let's kick some Highland ass!"

Despite her fears, she could not bring herself to put a damper on their soaring morale. Instead, she gave them a smile and nodded. "Let's go."

---

She couldn't see him anywhere. Their army was split in two, and he was not in either group.

The Highland Army had made no move either. On the one hand, it was a relief, if only temporarily, but on the other...

_I don't like it_, thought Apple, unintentionally fiddling with the cuff of her sleeve. _What is the enemy thinking?_

As if to answer her question, the company that had been standing still took off on horseback. Led by the Highland strategist, Leon Silverberg, they were galloping toward a small forest in the distance.

The move had not been expected, and Apple didn't fully realize the importance of it. After all, she had only been given one conditional set of instructions in dealing with the enemy army. _Face them head-on if they attack, and our second group will come up behind in a pincer attack. But if the others are attacked first, then strike the enemy from the rear._

The Highland Army disappeared into the wooded area, and a moment later, there was a flash in the distance. A blaze immediately followed, charging forth like a wave as it circled around the patch of trees. The chain of flames seemed to spread into the inside as well, little explosions randomly spouting from the treetops. There were the sounds of shocked cries and loud whinnying as the enemy attempted to flee the forest. Most of the men escaping had caught on fire and were frantically rolling across the green grass. Horses bucked violently, consequently knocking their masters off. The animals galloped away but did not make it far before they, too, stumbled to the ground, squirming and writhing in agony.

Apple's mouth remained open, as she was alarmed at this horrifying turn of events. Certainly Leon hadn't led his army into a suicide attack; there had to be some other explanation.

It was then she realized why Shu had told her to go on ahead, and why she hadn't seen him in quite a while.

_No_, she thought as a strong fear gripped her heart. _This was all Shu's doing..._

_It was he who planned to perish from the start..._


	3. Back Together Again

It was early afternoon, not to mention the near-end of the war, but somehow, it seemed too early for this tragedy. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be...

Both groups of the Alliance Army united and approached the blaze, praying for the possibility that some souls could still be saved. Or perhaps that was only the wish of the young woman who drew closer in disbelief.

"No..." she protested weakly, recalling what happened the previous night, as well as its significance. "That card...fire...it can't be..."

There was a sigh from the blue-caped man standing beside her. "Apple..." he started, as if to console her.

But Apple ignored Flik, desperation ripping through every fiber of her being. "No!" she screamed, charging toward the massive fire. It couldn't be true. He _had_ to be alive. And if he was, she had to do something, _anything_, to save him.

"Apple, wait!" Flik shouted, grabbing a hold of her arm. He pulled her back and blocked her path with his body. "You can't go in," he continued firmly, his hands on her shoulders. "It's too dangerous. You'll be killed."

The sound of his words, the sound of truth...they were enough to shatter the hope keeping her heart intact. Losing the will to complete her sudden mission, she went limp, sinking slowly to the ground. "But Shu..." The young woman wept, though wearily, her pride beaten down by the fact that, in the end, she could not prevent him from going away. As she stared downward, eyes blurred by tears, she could only recall more things from which she could not draw comfort.

_Every lie contains truth..._

These were words of wisdom that he had given to her prior to her failed attack on Muse.

_...and every truth contains a lie._

_And what of your silence, Shu?_ Apple thought as the tears streamed down her cheeks. _What was contained within that? How would I have known? You were willing to go to every length to win, just like...just like Master Mathiu..._

Flik knelt down, studying the young woman. "Hey," he said softly. "I know...you've been through this before...and it never seems to get easier. Believe me, I know. But Shu's actions, Shu's sacrifice...you have to remember, he did all of this for the good of the Alliance, and for the future of this country. That's why we have to go on. Don't...don't let this all have been in vain."

Apple sniffled, lifting her head. "I know..." she whispered. "You're right. I can't...fall apart now. It's just..."

Her words were interrupted by a strange sort of conversation.

_"Ow--! Couldn't you possibly...slow down...ow! Viktor! The thorny patch!"_

_"Sorry, but hurry up, man! I know you're exhausted, but wasn't it you who said you should always be alert?"_

_"Err...well...that's different. I was- ow- talking to you soldiers."_

_"And what good are the soldiers if you aren't around to bark orders at them?"_

_"You know what I intended, you meddlesome little...grrr..."_

_"Heh heh heh."_

_"Anyway, I made sure they were well taken care of. My role was finished, and I was never to be seen again."_

_"Aww, quit yer bitchin.'__ I risked my butt to save you."_

Apple's heart leapt in joy at the sight of Viktor and Shu climbing out of the brush. She quickly dried her eyes and hopped to her feet, rushing over to the one she had feared lost. "Shu..."

The young man sighed, very casually, or perhaps like a child having been caught in the act of something mischievous. He gave one final order, then retired from the stage. "Apple," he said. "You're in charge. I...I could use some rest."

Apple studied the man's face, which was covered in soot and scratches. "Y-yes," she responded, holding it together. She was still worried about him, but as Flik had pointed out, it was not the time to fall apart.

---

The final battle at L'Renouille ended in victory for the Orange Army, and Riou, the army's leader, headed into the palace with several comrades to put an end to Highland rule once and for all.

While the other soldiers and leaders waited anxiously for Riou's return, Huan and Shu were inside the tent, doctor treating patient.

A nervous Apple opened the flap of the tent and peered inside. "E-excuse me, doctor..."

"Huh?" Huan turned his head. "Oh, come in, Miss Apple. I'm almost done."

The young woman complied but only took enough steps to completely enter. She remained by the exit.

"That should do it," Huan said as he moved back.

"Thank you, doctor," Shu told him.

"It's my pleasure," the man replied with a smile, gathering up his belongings. He then turned to Apple. "He seems to be in good shape, but if he feels any pain, be sure to call me. I'll just be in the other tents, checking up on the wounded."

"All right," said Apple. "Thank you so much."

"Again, it's no bother. Well, good day."

Neither remaining tent occupant moved as the doctor left. Apple continued standing where she was and studied Shu, who was sitting on a bed, slightly reclined. He was shirtless save for the gauze encircling his torso and right shoulder.

"You know, you don't have to stand all the way over there," he said after a while. "I'm not contagious or anything. I just inhaled a bit of smoke, that's all."

"Uh..." Apple exhaled, uncertain of how to approach him. "I..."

"What?"

"N-nothing..."

_Is he...really okay?_ she wondered as she eyed the bandages. _And...should__ anything go wrong now...will he put himself in danger again?_

"If it's nothing, why are you looking at me like that?"

The young woman was stunned by the question. "I-I was just...wondering how serious your wounds were," she responded, her own honesty a surprise to her.

"Oh, that." Shu sighed. "I know it looks bad, but believe me, it's only a scratch. I got it when Viktor dragged me through that thorny patch, which, incidentally, isn't the most pleasant experience. Doctor Huan just dressed the wounds to prevent infection."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Aside from inhaling that bit of smoke, my body will be fine. My ego will take time to recover, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...let's just say I learned a very important lesson in that forest." Framing that statement with a bitter smile, he got up.

"Oh, Shu," Apple said, finally hurrying over to him. "Y-you shouldn't be up walking."

"Apple, I'm fine," Shu insisted. "Believe me, I'm fine. Look." He turned as if to display his bandages.

Such a thing only served to make her more upset, however. "Y-yes, I see..."

"What is it?" he asked.

There was no response; she was avoiding his gaze with a heartbroken look.

Confused by this reaction--or lack of--Shu started to repeat the question when Apple suddenly thrust herself into his arms.

"Apple?" he said in alarm.

_"You **can't--**"_ The young woman buried her face into his chest, sobbing loudly. _"...**ever...**do something like that again! I can't lose you. I can't lose you too..."_

Shu spoke no words but instead pondered the reason for this display. He then sighed, drawing his arms around her.

_Apple...did I go too far this time?_


	4. Hands

A week later, everyone had returned to the castle, spirits high and cheers abounding. The victorious warriors were weary but content, waving to the citizens of the castle with appreciation and pride.

Apple walked half a step behind Shu, simply glad that, for the time being, there were no more conflicts to threaten the lives of the ones she cared about the most. Besides that, there was an immediate victory party to take her mind off of everything.

The party itself died down around midnight, and everyone returned to their quarters, resting up for tomorrow, when many decisions would be made. A new country was on the brink of birth, and while some would take roles in its development, others would simply return home while awaiting the next big adventure.

For the time being, Shu and Apple had roles. Tomorrow, they would officially request their leader to extend his role in order to lead the new country. There was no guarantee that he would say yes, but Apple was optimistic.

"Thank you," Shu said quietly as Apple handed him the paper. "Is this the last of it?"

Apple nodded. "But..."

"What?"

"I'm confused about why Nanami's name wasn't on the list. She was killed by an arrow, after all."

"Y-yes," Shu said after a pause. "I didn't see the point of writing up a letter when her only family was here."

"That's true, but--"

"Thank you, Apple. You may go."

The woman started to do so but stopped. "Shu...do you have any regrets about what you've done?"

"What do you mean?"

Apple hung her head for a moment, then turned around. "When...when Master Mathiu died, his last thought was filled with doubt--doubt of the path he had chosen. He couldn't even go peacefully. His soul...was full of unrest."

"...I see."

"Please, don't get me wrong. I don't want to compare the two of you. You're completely different people...it's just..." She trailed off.

"No."

"What?"

"No, I don't have regrets," Shu told her.

Apple managed a weak smile, but she was genuinely relieved by his words. "That's good."

"And...?"

"Huh?"

"You were saying something before."

"Oh...uh...forget it. It wasn't important." She turned back around and left, not seeing a reason to spend another minute in that room.

---

Apple returned to her quarters with an almost serene feeling. She was not downhearted, nor was she not particularly driven by anything. Her day simply seemed ordinary to her, with no special inclination toward any extreme.

Not more than five minutes after she had entered the room, she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in," she said.

The person obeyed, slowly stepping inside.

"Shu?" Apple asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a lot to do?"

"Not really," the man replied. "The report's finished...I'll just give it to Ridley in the morning."

"Oh. Did you need something?"

"Yes. Your hand."

"What?"

"Your hand, please," he repeated, extending an arm.

Apple stared at him in confusion, but she reluctantly did the same.

Shu then took her hand. "Follow me." He led her to a small wooden bench by the window, then sat down. Releasing her, he turned his gaze briefly, seeming as though he were deep in thought.

"Shu? What is it?"

"Apple..." he said, turning back to her. "If I've ever made you feel unappreciated, or worse, at fault over the things I've done or gone through...then I apologize. My mind tends to be focused on the matter at hand. It isn't that I don't think of you or your feelings, but there are times we have to make sacrifices and still our tongues over our own personal conflicts. Yet...that seems unfair somehow, doesn't it?"

His words left the young woman stunned. "Sh-Shu..."

"We are forced to put our personal lives on hold," he continued. "At least, that usually is the case with war service. However, I was lucky. Before this war, my personal life was limited to trading and sitting nightly in the tavern with acquaintances. Once in a while, I would travel, but mostly, I found myself confined to the luxuries of a quiet, carefree routine. And then, you came back into my life and...blew all of that away." He let out a chuckle. "But by sacrificing an easy lifestyle, I grew to appreciate the things I had to work for. I found more value in that than any trade I could have made. I felt more alive. Rather than my life being put on hold, it was actually improved. Apple...that is something I have you to thank for."

"Oh..." Apple avoided his gaze, and she began to blush. "I-I see..."

"And...even though you made it possible, the decisions were voluntary on my part. Everything I did was by my own choice, and I have no regrets about anything I've done. Even if I had perished in that forest, I assure you, doubt would have been the thing furthest from my mind. So please...please don't live with regret. Whether or not I die, that is not something I plan to die with."

She studied him, absorbing the full weight of these words. Her expression relaxed, and she smiled. "Thank you, Shu. You're a better man than some people give you credit for."

He gazed at her for a moment before touching her face with his hand. Leaning in, he planted a light kiss on her cheek.

"Oh." A startled Apple reflexively brought a hand to Shu's elevated arm, and her eyes closed briefly. When she opened them, he was moving back.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"That was _my_ thanks," he responded. "I'm...lucky to have someone who not only can see that in me, but is able and willing to point it out to me at no cost."

Smiling contently, the young woman blushed again. "Shu..."

"So..." he began, looking around the room. "Just what _were_ you doing this time of night? It looks as though you've been ensuring a full day for the maid."

"Uh...well...I didn't plan to leave it like this. I was packing."

"Packing?" he repeated, confused. "Why? I know you're planning on a trip to Harmonia after Lord Riou gets settled in as President, but that isn't for a while. I'd expect the smaller things to be put away, but...from this I get the impression that you're leaving in two days, tops."

"Well, it's...it's not like that at all," Apple said sheepishly. "I was actually looking for something to pack, but I haven't been able to find it."

"What is it? We can look for it together."

"My work on the biography. I haven't seen it for several months."

"Well...there's a reason for that," Shu told her. "And believe me, no matter how much you tear this place apart, you'll never find it."

"Wh-why is that?"

"Because it's no longer here."


	5. What Lies Below

Shu opened the door to his room and stepped inside, Apple following him.

"I can't believe you don't remember this." He walked toward the bookshelf, scanning its contents carefully. "It wasn't too long after we forged an alliance with the Toran Republic. You mentioned something about the memories being too much for you, and you asked me to hold on to your notes for a while."

"That...sounds vaguely familiar," admitted the young woman.

"It should, at the very least. You practically begged me to take the papers, which I did. I stored them in a safe place on the top shelf, third book from the left." He reached up, pulling that very book. "Which means, your notes are in the exact location I left them...right here!" He opened the cover to an empty page.

"There's nothing there," Apple stated, bewildered.

"Er, of course not," Shu replied sheepishly. "That's because I stored them in a less obvious place...the book to the right of the third book to the left!"

"You mean...fourth book from the left," the woman said dryly.

"I mean...the book that contains all your hard work!" he said, opening the book to the same result. "Oh. Where...where did I put it?"

"Hopefully a safe place. Did you have anyone borrow that book, by any chance?"

"Of course not. I'm very careful about distributing my books."

"Then...?"

Shu felt his face grow warm. "Well...it's got to be somewhere in here...oh, it's late. I hate to put you in a position such as this, but would you mind...?"

Apple sighed. "Of course not. They're my notes, after all." With that, she joined Shu at the shelf, putting a hand on a book. Then, after exchanging a look with him, she commenced the search.

---

"It's...it's not here," Apple said after about an hour. Completely drowsy, she slowly pushed a book back into the shelf, then looked down. "Shu, are you listening? Shu!"

"Huh...?" The young man lifted his head at the woman, no more awake than she was. He was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the shelf. "Of course I'm...listening. It's not here."

"Oh." Groaning, Apple sank to the floor slowly, taking a seat beside Shu. "That...that can't be..."

"It is..." Shu sighed, turning to her. "I'm...sorry..."

Apple momentarily buried her face in her hands, but eventually, she faced him. "It's...all right. I was the one who forced the task on you. I should..."

"You should...?"

"Apologize..."

"Yeah...maybe..."

"Shu..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm...so tired..."

"Me too..."

---

The morning light had started to show traces of itself through the window, but the two remained where they were, fast asleep.

Apple's head had come to rest upon Shu's shoulder, and she was now turning her body more in his direction. Shu welcomed this, sliding an arm around her shoulders. As if in response, Apple brought a hand to the man's midsection, gradually moving it up his shirt.

They were like this for a while; Shu then tilted his head down, the edge of his jaw touching Apple's head. With a sigh, he began to stroke her arm, an act that sparked the young woman's interest. She lifted her head, her hand making its way to the man's cheek. He responded in kind, gently caressing the woman's face. The two softly shared a kiss as Apple relocated her hand to the back of Shu's head.

As the embrace grew more passionate, Shu began to guide the woman toward the floor with his weight. Apple lay down with her back flat against the ground, Shu nearly on top of her. The young man's hand began to slide up her leg, when suddenly, another presence had made its way in the room.

"Hey, Shu, Ridley says he still needs the--_whoa._"

The shocked voice caused Shu and Apple to revert back to the conscious world mid-kiss. Surprised, they stared at one another for a second before sitting up straight and making themselves presentable...or as presentable as they could be, given the awkward situation.

"Viktor..." spoke Shu's voice. Secretly, he was horrified, but his well-trained tone did not reflect it.

Viktor scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Yeah..."

"Err..." Apple stood up, crossing over to the desk before picking up a stack of papers. "Th-the report, right? I'll...I'll go hand it to Ridley," she offered, promptly bolting out the door.

"So..." Viktor started as he leaned against one of the smaller shelves. "I guess I don't need to ask what you had for breakfast."

Shu groaned. "Not now, Viktor."

---

A flustered Apple marched quickly down the stairs to Ridley's quarters. Several people stared as she passed by, but she neither noticed nor cared; there was only one thing on her mind.

_Did...did that...really happen?_

_No...it couldn't have. I must've been dreaming. Why would we...? Why would he be...?_

The thought only caused her face to grow hotter, but she was unable to shake it.

_Why...did it happen? Was it the fear of losing him, or just loneliness on my part? It doesn't explain why he wasn't pushing me away. Was he lonely too? He never seems to show such feelings..._

_I do...feel strongly for him, but...maybe I never really sorted out what it was I felt for him..._

_Could I have been in love all along? No, it can't be. He's...my friend. In fact, he's family. How could...?_

With a groan of protest, she pushed these thoughts out of her mind, determined to keep them at bay for as long as possible.


	6. The Way We Were

It was late afternoon, several days later. The leaders had all met for the establishment of the new country, but they were met with a slightly different outcome than expected.

Riou, the young leader of the Alliance Army, as well as the one who had led the State to victory, naturally had been expected to take up the seat of President. However, he had adamantly refused, requesting only to return to his hometown.

Everyone was initially shocked and disappointed, but in the end, they all came to the understanding that he was still young and needed to fulfill the needs in his life before fulfilling the duty that would confine him to another position of rule.

Shortly after Riou departed, Shu followed; there was something he had meant to impart to him. It was the reason why Nanami's name had never been added to the list of casualties--she had, in reality, survived the near-fatal attack at Rockaxe. However, respecting Nanami's wishes to no longer worry her brother needlessly, he had to remain silent until Riou expressed a desire to return to Kyaro.

Also, Shu needed the break for other reasons. With the events of what happened in his quarters still fresh in his mind, he wanted nothing more than to sort them out with little stress. This had been the perfect opportunity.

Though after a few days, he still wasn't sure he had completely sorted out those feelings. Over and over, a nagging statement came to him. Rather, it was a statement he had repeatedly taken hold of as though it were unconditionally the truth and he was using it to shield himself from anything threatening that.

_We're just friends..._

It did not fully quell the fear within him, however. There was a great risk to be considered in taking a longtime friendship to another level...not that there was any sort of consideration on his part. He simply wasn't interested in putting a friendship at risk.

His heart, however, had recently adopted another stance on the issue.

_I wasn't looking for a lover, let alone one in her._

_Yet...why does the possibility seem so appealing?_

---

_Friends make the best lovers._ Apple was sure she had heard that somewhere before, perhaps from the mouth of some hopeless romantic. She was probably a child when she heard these words, too young to concern herself with such a thing.

_I do feel strongly for him..._

But was it this so-called 'true love' those romantics often spoke of? From a particular viewpoint, it could be, but it didn't mean it was guaranteed. One thing was certain--she would have to find out for herself.

And whichever the outcome, she would also have to find out what he felt...

He had returned to the castle around midday, but she didn't find out until later into the afternoon. Once or twice she wondered if he was avoiding her, but she could not take offense. She hadn't felt like facing him either, even after spending a few days apart from him.

Finally, they had a couple of encounters in the hallway, one consisting of awkward hellos, the other a less awkward but unusually short conversation. Apple, admittedly, drew relief from this. It was a start, anyway.

---

Three weeks elapsed since she was last in this situation, though a few of the details were different. She stood outside his door, and she was worried, but it was not for his life or the possibility of a shattered ego. And the questions she wanted to ask had nothing to do with a war.

Fortunately, like last time, she found the courage to enter the door and question him.

And, like last time, she was the first to speak.

"All right," she started. "I'm going to be frank. We can't ignore this issue every time we see each other. Something happened a few days ago, and I'm not going to pretend it didn't. What about you? Are you just going to keep me at arm's length and--"

"Good evening, Apple."

"Huh?"

"I said, 'Good evening.'" Seeing the confusion on her face, he explained, "You entered my room. It would be rude to not greet you."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" the young woman said in exasperation. "There's no need for a greeting; you've known me long enough! I'm asking you something directly. The least you could do is answer that question!"

"My apologies, then. It seems I didn't give you the time to complete your question."

This only served to irritate her more. "Shu...you know damn well what I was going to ask."

"You started asking something about me keeping you at arm's length," the man replied, realizing he was treading on dangerous ground. "If that was the question, then the answer is no. There's no reason to."

Apple let out a sigh, but relaxed a little. "Shu...just face the entirety of the facts here. It was nighttime. We were alone in this room. You _kissed_ me--"

"I did no such thing."

"_What? _Are you denying that night happened?"

"...Of course not. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it wasn't exactly one-sided, was it?" Taking her silence as a response, he uttered the most inaudible laugh. "The truth is, I don't recall how it happened...at all. It was likely reflexive on my part...and besides, there's nothing wrong with two friends sharing a kiss."

"...A kiss? We were acting like a couple in love."

"We were asleep," Shu stated. "Anything could have happened in our dreams to cause us to act the way we did. Besides, the war probably had an effect on us, too. It's certainly changed people, or made them act unusually."

Apple sighed again. "So...I guess I have my answer. It didn't mean a thing to you."

"You had the answer that I wouldn't keep you at arm's length," Shu replied. "As for whether or not it meant something to me, it did. Enough to address the fact that it would be better to not pursue it further. Things were just fine before. We were getting along. Don't you agree?"

"Y-yes...I...I suppose..." the young woman stammered, stunned by these words.

"Then why disrupt a good thing? I have nothing but respect for you, and you are one of the few with whom I can speak on a close level. I wouldn't want to betray that in any way."

"No...you wouldn't."

"Then, we agree?"

"Huh?"

The man extended his hand out to her. "About not disrupting a good thing."

"Y-you mean...not allowing our friendship to escalate into anything more?"

He nodded. "Exactly."

"Oh...I-I guess." She joined him in a handshake, but she felt nothing but uncertainty.

"Good..."

"So...we're friends?"

The man nodded again. "Of course. That's the way it should be. We may be close, but this isn't a romance."

Apple said nothing as she pulled back her hand. The moment she turned, however, she inadvertently knocked some papers off of the desk. With a gasp, she scrambled to pick them up.

Shu silently knelt down beside her, taking a few pages into his possession as well. The two then rose simultaneously, returning the papers to their rightful place.

Apple started to face Shu when she realized he was standing very close to her. Lifting her head, she found herself staring into his eyes, dark, mysterious, and deep. His cryptic expression, however, turned anxious with the passing time. Soon, he looked as though he had something to say.

As if to break the suspense, the man brought a hand to her face. "...The hell it isn't," he finally said, moving in. "You're the woman in my life, Apple."

Apple let out a soft moan of surprise as Shu kissed her, initially lifting her arms as if in defense. Momentarily afterward, she relaxed and extended them forward, resting her hands upon his shoulders.

The kiss then ended abruptly, but neither moved away for quite some time.

"So much...for not disrupting a good thing," Apple said quietly.

"Well..." Shu started. "...I suppose it's always possible to improve a good thing. It just takes courage. I just...wasn't sure if I had it."

"Oh..."

"Anyway...I apologize for giving you a hard time earlier. You were right to be angry. I _was_ avoiding you, and I wasn't being completely honest...to you or myself."

"It's...it's all right...Shu..."

"Apple..." He drew her into a hug.

The young woman sighed, slowly wrapping her arms around him as well.

"Shu..."


	7. One on One

_"So...will you come with me?"_

_"Yeah...I promised I'd help out, didn't I?"_

_"Yes, but..."_

_"What?"_

_"It's nothing. You're right..."_

---

Every time he showed her one of those smiles, she absolutely melted inside. It wasn't that his smiles were rare in their occurrence; it was just the way he showed them. In her case, it was kind of an appreciative gaze, as if he were grateful she was there to help or to raise his awareness about anything. Or, perhaps, he was grateful that she was just there. Whichever the reason, it provided her with a perpetual sense of warmth. Perhaps it wasn't just duty that brought her there that day. Perhaps...it was that thing called love.

Now, she was walking by his side, up the stone path to the Muse gates. She only intended to stay briefly, as most of the roles had already been assigned. The leaders were to review their plans for the unification of the City-State and the conquered Highland Kingdom.

It was a terribly hot, muggy day, but everyone remained high in spirit. As they convened at Jowston Hill, they energetically proposed and discussed strategies for quelling the anger and confusion among both former nations. These conversations would continue for most of the day.

---

...At least, that had been the plan.

"...Sorry," Shu was saying as Apple accompanied him to the inn. Night had fallen, and the leaders had all gone to their quarters to rest. "I didn't think they would take that long."

"It's all right," she responded.

"But you said you were hoping to stay for only a couple of hours."

The woman shrugged. "Yeah, well...life doesn't always go the way you want it to."

"Yes?" said the innkeeper as the two walked up to the desk.

"I was wondering if you could prepare a room for my friend here," said Shu.

"Oh, I'm sorry...all our rooms are booked, and most of our guests are sleeping by now."

"And Lady Teresa has taken Anabelle's old room..." the man murmured.

"My apologies, sir...but...we can allow your friend to room with you at no extra charge. You'll have to work out the sleeping arrangements yourself, however..."

Shu let out a sigh before turning to the young woman at his side. "Apple..."

"It's...all right," Apple replied. "That meeting left me tired. I'd...rather not walk a couple of miles back to the hall. Especially to bother Teresa."

"Then it's settled..."

---

The two walked into the guest room, which was illuminated softly by a wall lantern. Shu made his way in further, then turned around.

"All right," he started. "I'll just disappear outside for a while as you change, and then, when you're done, you...what?"

Apple looked horrified. "Um..."

"What is it, Apple?"

"You realize...I didn't...bring anything to sleep in."

"Oh."

"I-I just assumed I'd be...sleeping in a chair or something, I mean. That's all."

"Of course not," said Shu. "I won't hear of it. Listen, just borrow one of my shirts. That should suffice."

"Oh...okay."

"Good. Well, I'll return shortly."

"Thank you, Shu..."

"It's no problem," he said, showing her a smirk. He then walked past her and into the hall, closing the door behind him.

---

Apple was staring out the window when he returned. The man took a few steps into the room, catching a glimpse of her. She was sitting on a long bench beside the window, her face turned to the quiet scene below. Illuminated by the lantern, she was dressed in a plain white long-sleeved shirt ending at her thigh.

Finally, Apple noticed his presence; she turned around in surprise, slowly and gracefully lowering both feet to the floor.

"Oh...Shu...I didn't even realize you were back."

"Yes...I knocked on the door a couple of times. When you didn't answer, I thought it was safe to enter. Is something the matter?"

"Oh...n-no," Apple stammered softly as she arose, crossing over to him. "I suppose I was just lost in thought. So...is it my turn to leave?"

"Are you kidding?" Shu asked with a scoff. "I'm not about to let you wander the halls wearing only that."

"Err...I suppose not. Then...?"

"Just stay here for a minute and don't turn around."

"Ah..." Blushing slightly, Apple did as she was told. No conversation was exchanged as the man searched for something new to wear.

When he was done, he announced, "All right. You can turn around."

Apple seemed surprised to find him in a pair of loose black trousers. "Oh...is that all you're...?"

The man nodded. "Well...you're wearing my shirt..."

"S-sorry."

He only smiled back. "Don't apologize. Actually, to be honest, this weather is unbearable. I wouldn't mind a little breeze in the room..." He walked over to the window, unlatching it before pushing open one side. "That's better. Well...shall we?"

"Uh...of course..." Apple stepped up to the large bed and pulled back the sheets as Shu did the same. Avoiding eye contact with him, she quickly hopped in, but just as she was adjusting her legs to the mattress, she received an unexpected pain.

Gasping, it didn't take her very long to realize she had bumped heads with Shu. With her hand on her fresh bruise, she turned a little in his direction, giving him an abashed look.

The man was also cradling his head, and he let out an uneasy chuckle. "Maybe I should've just let you get in first," he said jokingly.

"Sorry..."

"I...accept your apology...this time. Ow."

Apple laughed nervously but felt herself calming down. Lowering her hand, she leaned in toward the man, laying a soft kiss on his forehead, in the spot he had been holding a moment ago. She then turned on her side, clutching her pillow as she felt herself start to breathe easier.

---

A couple of hours later, however, the exceedingly warm weather conditions forced the young woman awake. Realizing her skin was growing damp, she reflexively threw the sheets off of her, causing the man beside her to react.

"Sorry..." Apple whispered, turning around. "I forgot you were there..."

The man uttered a small, uncomfortable laugh. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't asleep anyway."

"Oh...why is that?"

"This damned weather, for one. I know if I fall asleep, I'll wake up even more tired than I was before I went to bed." He paused. "Also...I was thinking."

"About what?"

"The future, I suppose. How long I'll have to...play this role."

"What do you mean? Aren't you happy with all you've done?"

"No, it's not that. I'm proud of what I was able to do, and what I still can do. And I wouldn't dream of abandoning my duty prematurely. I just wonder how much longer it will be until I can retire."

Apple found this amusing. "Retire? Shu, you're still a young man."

"Huh? Oh...that's not what I--er...I just meant I'd like to get back to the trading business when I'm done here."

"Oh. Well, that makes sense. You did kind of take off."

"Yes, but who do we have to blame for that?" the man asked jokingly.

"Um...I don't know," Apple responded with feigned innocence. "I heard someone named Riou was at fault."

"Really? I heard Riou was accompanied by a young woman who dragged him all over Radat until they cornered me."

"I couldn't imagine who that was."

"You couldn't, could you?" Shu continued in mock anger, looming over her. "A certain bespectacled student of Master Mathiu's..."

"Exactly! There were several. Who knows where she could even be?"

"I do. She's lying beside me right now!"

"Aaahh, don't...!" Apple cried out, squealing with laughter as a dangerous set of fingers buried themselves into the tender part of her stomach. "Oh God..." Gasping, she curled up and grabbed the man's wrist, attempting to stop this vicious tickling assault. "Shu...! Stop...it..."

"Not until you tell the truth."

"Agh...! Okay...okay...! It was me! Now stop...!"

Shu complied, laughing victoriously, as Apple breathed a sigh of relief.

"There now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" the man asked.

"Oh, quiet. You ought to be ashamed, picking on a poor, helpless girl."

"...You aren't helpless and you know it."

The sudden shift in his tone caused her to look his way. "Huh?"

"You aren't helpless," Shu repeated with admiration. "I meant what I said in the beginning. You're a strong woman. In fact, I appreciate all that you've done. I really wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"Is that...all it is, though?"

"No, but even if it were, it isn't something you should dread. You should feel incredibly proud of yourself."

"Oh, I do," said the young woman with a grin, reaching up to caress his face. "You'd be a hopeless case without me."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah..." The two moved in closer, sharing a sweet kiss.

Apple let out a sigh as she pulled back, but by then, her hand had found Shu's.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Shu...do you ever think about...family?"

"Once in a while. Sometimes I get busy, but during times of war, I do wonder if the ones I care about are safe."

"No...I mean...children. A legacy. Something to pass on."

"Oh." The man grew silent for a while. "Now that I think about it...no, I haven't. It's not that I'm avoiding it, though; it's just something that hasn't really crossed my mind. But yes, I suppose one day, I'll need to pass on what I have. I just don't have that desire at the moment."

Apple cracked a smile. "Yeah...I figured you'd say something like that."

"Why is that? Are you thinking of family?"

"No, not right now...but one day. I don't necessarily have to have one traditionally, but I'd like to take someone under my wing, teach them right from wrong, or something like that."

"You mean like Master Mathiu?"

"Well...yes, I suppose so."

"Interesting," Shu said thoughtfully. "Yes. That will do. Just as Master Mathiu passed along his wisdom to you, you, in turn, will pass it on to a newer generation. I couldn't think of anyone better."

"Really?"

"Really."

Apple touched his cheek in appreciation, beaming at him. "Thank you."

Shu smiled back at her. "You're welcome." His fingertips became intertwined with hers, and his expression grew pensive.

"Shu? What is it?"

"I was just thinking...perhaps...it would not be so bad to someday have a family traditionally, either. But no matter how things turn out, any child would be lucky to have you as a mentor and guardian."

"What about you?"

"Er...I would probably need...a good mentor and guardian in my case."

Apple let out a laugh. "Give yourself more credit. One day..."

"One day...?"

"Yes..."

They turned to one another, gazing into each other's eyes a moment before sharing another kiss.

"One day..." Shu repeated. He pressed his mouth to hers, but this time, neither one of them broke away.

Apple leaned back against the bed, pulling Shu closer to her. After a while, two pairs of hands started to wander, subjecting flesh and warmth to their touch. Their bodies began to press together, breathing growing deeper and more rapid. With a gasp, Apple finally broke the kiss, moving back slightly.

"Apple..." Shu whispered. "We should stop..."

The young woman shook her head. "No...let's not..."

"What are you saying?"

"That...this feels so right..."

"Are...are you sure?"

"Make love to me, Shu..."

Shu gazed at her. "Apple..."

Apple smiled timidly, letting out a short, contented sigh as she touched her forehead to his. They shared another kiss, an act restoring all feelings and intentions. As they moved ever closer, they took hold of their mutual desire, parting occasionally as garments were removed and tossed to the floor. Apple began to blush as the two embraced again, but Shu's touch soon put her at ease.

Shu carefully lowered the woman back onto the bed, dropping his head down. He brushed his lips against her neck, laying slow, tender kisses upon her skin. Apple brought a hand to the back of Shu's head, gently taking in a fistful of hair; she briefly tilted her head back before the man returned, and their lips met once more.

Hands continued exploring, sliding and rubbing against flesh, which was becoming hotter and damper with each passing minute. Their embrace grew more fervent as passions further manifested, and the two started to roll across the bed. Shu raked his fingers through Apple's hair, kissing her with abandon, and soon, the lovers returned to their original place. As the two became one, the man's hands sought hers and clasped them, directing them back towards the headboard. They remained this way for a while, and then Shu let go.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Y-yeah," Apple responded softly, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Shu lifted a hand to her face and moved in slowly, kissing her mouth. He wrapped her in his arms as she, too, held him close, their two bodies moving to one rhythm.

"I love you, Shu," Apple whispered between kisses.

The words caught Shu off-guard, bringing forth from him one exhalation longer than the rest.

"I love you too...Apple..."


	8. I Could Not Ask For More

Apple awoke the next day to a gentle hand running down her arm. Sighing softly, she turned her head, only to see Shu gazing back at her.

"Oh..." The woman blushed but managed a smile. "G-good morning."

The man returned the smile as he took a hold of her hand. "And a good morning to you."

Apple laid her head back down, nervous yet elated at the same time. "We...sort of crossed a line last night, didn't we?"

"Yes..."

"It's something too late to undo, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Are you as frightened as I am?"

"Yes," the man replied with a chuckle. "But I'm optimistic."

"Shu..." Apple interlaced her fingers with his, giving his hand a brief squeeze. The room fell silent for a moment.

"They've been calling for me for the past half-hour," Shu finally said. "I have a feeling that, if I don't respond soon, there will be a repeat of the incident in my quarters a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh..." The young woman released him. "We wouldn't want that. It wouldn't look good for someone of your position."

"I don't care how it looks. But I also don't care to be barged in on while sharing a private moment with someone close to me."

"Yeah..."

"Well, I suppose I should get ready," the man said as he slid out of bed. He reached down, collecting some articles of clothing from the floor. "If you want to stay here for a while, you're welcome to. I'll be occupying this room for a few more days."

"...No."

"What?"

Apple turned onto her other side, looking up at a half-dressed Shu. "I'm coming with you."

---

When his eyes met hers across the room, he knew. Though she smiled to show her appreciation of his acknowledging her, she seemed anxious. After the meetings, she joined him, but nothing seemed to offset that vague feeling of restlessness lingering in the air.

He never doubted her love for a second. She was always responsive, and her actions were never limited to simple courtesy. He knew. She wanted to be there by his side, and it was always her choice to do so. She wanted her relationship with him to be strong and everlasting.

Still, he knew.

Anxiety, restlessness...these things were present within her. Though they implied she was a woman who lived without faith, it simply wasn't true. She was looking at the bigger picture, at another part of her life that sought to be fulfilled. It was time. And he knew this.

It was the reason they didn't walk together from Jowston Hill that day. Instead, she pulled him aside for a moment and asked him to meet her later that afternoon. Noting the seriousness of her tone, he agreed and left her side, hoping to make preparations, both material and mental...for 'that time.'

---

Apple found herself in the open courtyard a couple of hours later, waiting on Shu's arrival. As apprehensive as she had been in the last few days, she was even more so now. She needed to break the news to him somehow, but it would not be easy.

Her own mental preparations were cut short by the sound of him calling her name. Turning from the late afternoon sun, she greeted him with a warm but anxious smile. "You made it."

"Yes..." he said, approaching the woman.

Apple pointed to the book in his hand. "What is that?"

"We'll get to that later. You said there was something you needed to talk to me about."

"Oh...yeah..." Apple brought her eyes away for a moment. "Shu...these last few days...have been wonderful. To be where I am right now...it's something I would never have imagined happening. It never crossed my mind...until, of course, my feelings about you grew more apparent. I really am blessed to have you in my life."

The man showed her a modest smile. "I feel the same way."

"But...as much as I've enjoyed being by your side, it just..." That's when the sadness within her finally began to unmask itself. "It wasn't on my list of plans. I'd already put something important in my schedule, something that's been going on for over three years now. It's not that I'm not open to a relationship, but it would prove nearly impossible with the task I have in mind." She lowered her gaze, sighing. "That...sounds terrible, doesn't it?"

"Not at all. If anything, it sounds realistic. Why should you be weighed down with something that will only hinder you from accomplishing your goals?"

"Shu, that's not what I meant at all."

He chuckled. "I know. And I didn't intend for it to sound as cold as it did. I'm just saying that as long you have greater priorities, it wouldn't be fair for you to stay here."

"Well, you're being awfully casual about it."

"That's my nature."

"I know."

"But..." Shu continued. "...that doesn't mean I'm thrilled with the idea. There's nothing more I would like than to see you stay. But what kind of man am I to demand such a thing? I don't doubt your feelings for me, not at all. And I'm honored that you respect me enough to come to me about this. This is a delicate decision...and I understand that." Despite his earlier statement, his tone had shown itself, to a degree, wistful.

"Shu..."

Silence fell between them.

"I know you don't doubt me," Apple finally said. "It just seems cruel to leave you when we've come to this point. And...it isn't easy for me, either," she added, dejectedness returning. "One way or the other, it feels like I'm going to lose something very important to me. Still, I must finish collecting materials for the biography. I made that goal long ago..."

Another pause.

"It isn't true, you know," Shu suddenly said.

"Wh-what?"

"About you losing something important," he explained. "You have a desire to finish what you started. You've had it for a long time. But, Apple...you've also had me for a long time. I knew you as a fellow student, a friend, and now, something far more. I've come to understand many things about you, and my world won't suddenly go away when you do. The biography, however...that isn't going to assemble itself. Right now, it needs a fine heart and mind--it needs you. Apple...if you don't finish what you started, that's when you will truly lose something important... your ability to honor a great man."

Apple's expression softened. "Y...you really mean that?"

Shu nodded. "I do. In fact...that's where this comes in." He held the book up with a smirk. "I was right that night. It _was_ the third book from the left. What I neglected to remember was that I had taken that very book and stored it in a safer place, somewhere I was sure to find it."

"Then...?"

"It backfired...still, your notes are right here," he said as he opened the cover. Sure enough, the papers lay on top of that very page.

The woman's face lit up as she studied the details--her handwriting, the ink scratches, the frayed edges of the notes. "H-how did you...?"

"Well, to be honest, I didn't notice until I brought my favorite books on this trip. It had been a long time since I'd had the opportunity to enjoy a good book, so the fact that I put your notes in there completely slipped my mind. Anyway...I'd like you to take this...book and all."

Apple let out a wordless utterance, staring down at the item the man was now putting in her possession. Then she looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "Then...these last few days...you knew? You knew what I was planning?"

He smiled in response. "In a sense. I noticed how distracted you were, so I think I was making some preparations of my own. Besides, you already told me you were going to Harmonia after you were finished here. It's a good plan, and I know you would've gone whether or not I was fond of the idea. However...let this book be my blessing. I want you to go on that journey, no regrets. I don't know what awaits you there, how long a journey it will be, or what decisions you will make, but...I'll be waiting when you return."

"Oh, Shu...thank you. Thank you so much." Apple moved forward, throwing her arms around him. "You've been so wonderful. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Just one thing..." he responded as she pulled back. "...that you think of me when you see this book."

Apple nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I will," she said, genuinely smiling out of joy. "I'll always think of you."

Shu began caressing the woman's face; he caught a tear and wiped it away. The two moved closer, sharing a tender kiss, and then Shu embraced her.

The sun had disappeared into the horizon, a crescent moon now shining directly above them. The breeze picked up, warm and gentle as it swept over the young lovers; it was as though the courtyard had become their own private stage, an intimate setting for two...if only for a moment. Content with this, Apple brought her arms around Shu, sighing blissfully at his touch.

"Always..." she whispered.

_fin_


End file.
